EDITORIAL
A Rose by Any Other Name
Monday, August 2, 2004
Once again, the name of the Cayman Islands has been
bandied about in the foreign media, this time as result of news wire reports
of a quote attributed to a British member of parliament as part of an ongoing
debate in the United Kingdom over the present day relevancy of the honours
system.
According to opponents of proposed reforms to Britain's
system of public honours, the titles are a part of Britain's history that
fascinates the world. Scrapping them would "eventually result in Britain
having all the individuality and heritage of the Cayman Islands", said
opposition Conservative lawmaker Michael Fabricant.
If this is how the Cayman Islands is perceived by
others, and if all we need to do to increase our individuality and heritage is
bestow a plethora of fancy titles on our people, perhaps we should embrace the
concept more vigorously, and with a bit more imagination.
The recent news reports noted that the United Kingdom
offers us such titles as “The Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the
Thistle” and “Most Honourable Order of Bath.” Surely, we can do better than
that.
While it is fine to continue to honor those good-doers
who offered their services to the country, Cayman should also pay tribute to
some of the less noble attributes of our people, which, for better or worse,
is part of our true individuality and heritage.
After all, it is romanticized that many of us descend
from pirates and naval deserters, something that no doubt played an important
role in our forefather’s determination and ability to persevere through the
harsh realities of early settlement in this country.
So we offer some suggestions to ponder for a new honour
system in the Cayman Islands.
Instead of OBE meaning ‘Order of the British Empire’’ in
all cases, it could also mean ‘Order of the Bad Egg’ and it can be awarded to
the captains of Cayman's financial industry who have made the most conspicuous
contributions to international financial scandals.
Of course, MBE can become ‘More Bad Eggs’, for those
holders of the OBE not content to rest on the laurels of earlier
contributions.
Given our penchant for decadence these days, we can
award a ‘Bequest of the Increased Girth’ (BIG) for the politician who puts on
the most weight while in office.
‘Order of the Golden Fleece’ can be awarded to the
‘entrepreneur’ who has managed to suck the greatest personal gain out of the
Cayman economy and our national resources.
If it is individuality the world wants, we should have
our own peerage as well, and one more representative of our personalities.
We can have the ‘Duchess of Yak’, for the woman among us
who displays the greatest propensity to talk on the telephone during work
hours, and a ‘Duke of Can’t’, for the man who can hold on to a job and yet
show the uncanny ability to avoid responsibility by saying “I can’t say”, “I
can’t do that”, and “I can’t meet with you today because I’m too busy”.
There can also be a ‘Baron of Bo-Bo’, for the man who
best exemplifies the trait, whether genuine or not, of smiling and offering
warm pleasantries to every other person he meets so that everyone thinks this
person is their best friend.
Since some of our politicians have a proclivity of
borrowing culture from others in their speeches, we can recognise an ‘Earl of
Saw’ to the MLA or Cabinet Minister who avoids the substantive issues facing
the country by citing adages, anecdotes and famous quotations of others during
public addresses.
The possibilities are endless, and we’re sure our
readers will have many suggestions of other ‘honours’ we can bestow that will
present a more comprehensive look of the people of the Cayman Islands. Let’s
hear from our readers!
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