Creating good parents in the community

The group of participants and facilitators.

Facilitator Mrs. Coleen Wint-Smith discusses issues
with participants.

Constable Ian Lavine talks on family matters with
George Town resident James Dixon.

Wednesday,  August 17, 2005

Becoming a parent might not be the hardest thing to do but being a good parent can be. Good parents are crucial to a good society so learning how to get it right, such is a priority for anyone who is planning on becoming, about to become or who is already faced with being a parent.

Community representatives recently gathered for a three-day parenting workshop spearheaded by the National Parenting Programme (NPP), and facilitated by two members of Parenting Partners, Inc. in Jamaica. The theme, ‘Participatory Methods of Parenting’ proved to be more than an academic term for residents of Grand Cayman and Cayman Brac.

This initiative is supported by the Hon. Anthony Eden and the Ministry of Health and Human Services.

“Your commitment to your communities and to these Islands is evidenced by your participation here, as well as your ongoing involvement in all activities related to the National Parenting Programme,” said Deanna Lookloy, Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) Director who opened the workshop.

“We look forward to working with all of you as we move towards our objective of helping parents and children experience positive, nurturing and responsible parenting.”

With a goal of ‘Empowering and motivating parents to develop positive and effective parenting skills,’ the NPP is coordinated by Deborah Webb of the DCFS who explained that the teams at the workshop would identify concerns and issues in the respective communities and districts, and then develop effective approaches to improve the situation for parents and children alike.

She added that the district teams will seek to build relationships with residents and institutions and continue the outreach process.

During the three-days of training, the scope of parent-related issues extended from reviewing the stages of child development to managing stress.

Parenting Partners’ facilitator Coleen Wint-Smith and Sharon Rose-Marie Johnson of ‘Help for Parents’ in Jamaica, led the discussions.

Ms Wint-Smith explained, “Parenting Partners provides training, consultations, products and services to improve parenting outcomes.” She said that the Caribbean-wide organization has been holding regional conferences and community training since 1995.

Ms. Johnson added, “Some top aims are to engage and involve children as part of the parenting process; to share knowledge and experiences; and to take the message of good values, empowerment and self-esteem to everyone – especially young men and women who are parents.”

Explaining the gender barriers, she said, “Of course we recognise that many women are also perpetuating mis-parenting, and still believe certain negative things about men, but our men are now fighting through the myths and speaking out much more.”

‘Staying in the game’ was another parenting lesson shared. Details discussed about mother-father relationships included the fact that, often, even the reason for having a child cannot sustain itself – reasons such as trying to ‘keep’ the other partner, to prove personal status, or to control the other partner. Such reasoning often results in the child being caught in a negative situation.

Discipline was also a topical issue, one that generated a variety of opinions. Participants heard that while controlled spanking is allowable by law, discipline does not have to be physical. “More importantly, said one participant, “discipline does not necessarily mean punishment, but the instilling of a range of positive values.”

While common values such as love, caring and protection should continue through the child’s life, it was highlighted that in their first five years, children primarily need discipline and nurturing. Building on this foundation, they continue to need strong encouragement through their pre-teen years, and thereafter they rely on the ‘Love Formula.’ This formula was said to be ‘LOVE = Time + Positive Attention’.

On the issue of working with parents, local parent-trainers were advised to build on the motivations and common parental links – including friends, associates and personal expectations. They were also urged to reach out to parents on social welfare, and on various court orders or prison sentences, to break the patterns of poor parenting skills.

One participant, Constable Ian Lavine of the RCIPS’ Community Policing Unit said, “The workshop will be of great benefit to residents. I’m assigned to the Watlers Road area, and I visit with residents every single weekday. I think this parenting programme is well thought-out, and apart from the parenting aspects it’s a holistic programme with skills which can apply to life in general – from self-esteem to communicating with people day-to-day.”

DCFS Deputy Director Jen Dixon encouraged everyone to, “attack parenting issues with a consistent and concentrated effort.”

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