Cayman Net News: Reality - Susan Smith style

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Reality - Susan Smith style

Friday, October 28, 2005

Dear Sir,

I agree with Susan Smith, Cayman should do more to make Americans like her feel safe. Here are my humble suggestions.

1. All cruise tourists to be sent ashore in armoured landing craft.

2. All tourists pack suitable sidearms; say .45’s for the gentlemen, .22’s for the ladies and air tasers for the children.

3. Bradley fighting vehicles be used to take tourists to the maximum security attractions like the Rum Point Blockhouse and the Turtle Farm Stockade etc.

4. Pedro’s Castle be upgraded to a full nuclear bunker in case Cuba tries to get cute again.

5. Navy SEALS patrol Stingray City in case of Scuba-terrorism.

6. Roving dawn and dusk SWAT teams keep an eye out for especially vicious mosquitoes.

7. All meals be taken at a new high security fast food outlet Fort Cholesterol where state of the art detection equipment, capable of detecting uric acid diluted by soda to one part in a million, etc. will be deployed.

8. Tourists will wear (non latex) surgical gloves and masks at all times.

And while you’re at it would it kill you to start using real US dollars and scrap your own currency? It’s hard to handle a firearm and a calculator at the same time.

Mick McGinty

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