Atoosa Rubenstein
Somebody at my school started a rumor about
me being a lesbian. It's not true, but everybody keeps making
fun of me for it. What can I do to make it stop? --
Jessica, 14, Austin, Texas
First off, it's so lame of people to
think that calling someone a lesbian is an insult. It's itls<not>itls
an insult because there's nothing wrong with it. But I digress!
I do feel for you, Jess, because no matter itls<what>itls
is said about you, being the subject of gossip is the worst, because
it makes you feel like you have no control over your life. So
let's talk about how you can get a little bit of that control
back. What you need to do is start some <itlsnew>itls gossip
about yourself -- something positive. I know that sounds weird,
but hear me out. Maybe there's already something to get your friends
talking, but if not, make some news! Start a club; set a record!
Sorry for the corny examples -- but you get my point, right? You
need to give people something"new" to talk about so
that the lesbian rumor will seem so last month. Good luck!
I have a huge crush on the perfect guy, but there's one problem:
He smokes weed. I don't, and none of my friends do, and I don't
know what to do. Should I find someone else (who isn't as perfect),
or try to change him, or what? --
Molly, 14, Deerfield, Ill.
Molly, are you "listening"
to yourself, girl? You sound like those women who say, "We
have a really perfect relationship ... except for the fact that
he BEATS ME!" OK, maybe not that extreme, but "still"!
If he "was" perfect, he wouldn't be smoking pot.
Here's the deal: One thing I have learned through life experience
(and I know millions of readers will back me up on this one) is
that you can't change a guy. And why enter a relationship that
already has a built-in problem? The only thing that will happen
is the two of you will have conflicts about it, and you'll end
up hurt. So do me a big favor: Save your heart and just say no.
There are plenty of hot and fun guys out there who itls<don't>itls
come with this baggage. (Yes, there itls<are>itls!) Now
go find them and let this guy be someone else's problem.
My parents go out to bars on Saturdays. I don't want to wreck
their social life, but I hate it because when they drive home,
I think they might be drunk. That scares me. Should I bring it
up or what? Help! --
Ashley, 15, Gilroy, Calif.
Ashley, you should absolutely bring it up, because it's important for your parents to know how you're feeling. It's a terrible thing to feel unsure about your parents' safety. Say something like this: "Mom, Dad -- I think it's great that you guys have such a good time together every weekend. But it makes me a little nervous when you drive home. Would you mind taking a cab home on Saturdays when you go out? It would make me feel so much safer if you did that. Or maybe one of you could be the designated driver." And then see what they say. Don't accuse them of anything -- you don't want to put them on the defensive or make them feel like they have to assert that "they" are the parents, not you -- just make a simple request. Even if they don't do what you ask this coming Saturday, at least you'll get them thinking about it.