Amusingstories of the past
WillJackson
Many amusing tales are handed down to usof Cayman in the past. During the 19th and 20th centuries peopleand life in the Islands could be very amusing. People had funnynicknames attached to their real names, and hardly was any onecalled by their first names. People had a way of making jokesat sometimes-serious matters. It was the disposition of some men,while being stern in attitude to carry out their duties so complacentlyand jollily that the opponent failed to realize what the implicationswere being made against them.
For the purpose of this article I am focusingmy thoughts to a certain man I knew from childhood and got toknow much more about as an adult. For many years as a boy I knewhim only as Mr. Bill Ration but later knew his real name as Mr.William McCoy.
He was not an East Ender but rather of theDistrict of Bodden Town. I somehow like to think of him as howI first knew him Mr. Bill Ration; this name I was told was givento him in East End.
Bill was District Constable in Bodden Townbut made weekly trips to East End on his big black horse. We boysthen only had to be reminded that Mr. Bill was around to be atour best behavior. He always rode with a big horsewhip and whensmacked in space it was enough to get the boys moving. Not thathe wanted to hurt any one.
Mr. Bill was a good man and was well likedby the people. He always had brilliant advice to offer in themany matters that existed among the people, chiefly in the matterof lands disputes, which were many and frequent in those days.He always seemed to be the wise one.
Mr. Bill was a regular visitor to my grandfather'shome for his supplies of country tobacco. Now for the name BillRation, how did it come about: I have been told that the namewas given to him in East End where he usually announced his presenceby asking, how is the ration today? Well, he always returned homewith his saddlebag filled with provision and corn fish.
In later years, I often talked with himand enjoyed doing so. He always had a story to tell of the oldtimes and of the duppies that inhabited the land. He said he himselfcame face to face with many ghosts from time to time.
Mr. Bill was a man who liked to go to courtto listen to the arguments coming from each side. There were notmany criminal cases in those days, mainly land disputes, but Mr.Bill enjoyed them all and usually knew from the start who wouldwin.
Well, finally Bill found himself wrappedup in a major murder case. A lady was charged with the murderof her husband by poisoning him with arsenic. In those days, suchcases were scheduled for grand court, which was held only in themonth of June and December.
The barristers and judges came down from Jamaica to attend suchsessions.
In those days, the Cayman Islands was dependencyof Jamaica and held as a parish of Jamaica.
Grand Courts were held in the town hallin those days, as there was no regular courtroom except the oldcourthouse on the waterfront, which now serves as the museum.
There was nothing of public happenings aroundthe Island from January till December besides those court cases,which people inland would look forward to, trying and decidingthem among themselves long before the judges and juries did. Soon the morning of the first Wednesday in June the people gatheredin George Town from all over to listen to learned men and thevarious witnesses.
In this particular case Mr. McCoy was theCrown's star witness and he would bring a lot of fun into thecamp. He had been the deceased 's closest friend and would spendtwo days in the witness box being grilled by the prosecution lawyerand then the defense and lastly by the judge himself. His awarenessto the questions put to him was the amusement of the court, theofficials as well as the spectators. 'Mr. McCoy,' the lawyer asked,'howwell did you know the deceased?' Answer: as a loving brother whoneeded someone to help him up, Sir.
Were you acquainted with the accused inher home? Very much, Sir. She was a wild cat facing a pet dog.Tell the court, in your estimation how you would describe therelationship between the couple? There was a great lack of TLCamong them.
Here the court roared out with laughter,contained for a while. Now the judge interjected, struggling tohold back the laughter he: tell the court just what you mean byTLC. Sir said Bill; it simply means tender loving care; whichwas non-existent.
When asked were you and the deceased inthe southern bar socializing on the Saturday before his last illness?Bill: that could hardly be true Sir, we cut wood for captain BennyBodden that week and went to settle up that morning and cap. Bennypaid us off in victuals, such as cornmeal, flour and sugar. Bennydoes not deal in liquor and funds were low with us to go to thebarafter two days in the stand, the prosecuting lawyer fired onelast question at him. Mr. McCoy in your opinion what would yousay caused the death of the deceased, you mind telling the court.
I would not subject myself to prosecutionin the matter, Sir, but a man can hardly be hung for what is hisquestion according to opinion I will do so quite sincerely. TheJudge spoke at the time: You may answer the question, Mr. McCoy.Thank you Sir; well Sirs it is my full belief that the deceased,my friend, died from and over dose of the PVC. What does thatmean, Mr. McCoy? That is Pedro Vegetable Compound that has laidquite a few people to rest. Here was another uproar in the court.You may stand down Mr. McCoy, said the judge.
The court went on fourteen days before thejury of ten men and two women were charged with the case. Sixhours deliberation finally found the accused guilty of first-degreemurder and the judge sentenced her to death by hanging. Howeverthe case was appealed in Jamaica and the lady was set free. Suchwas the courts of those times. But this case I am sure will godown in history as the most amusing court ever-tried in Cayman.