Letter
Waging Peace
It is easy to complain isn't it? We do itall the time. It's too hot. I hate the rain. The water's cold.It seems that the basic human condition is to complain.
Since my arrival in the Cayman Islands onthis trip, I appear to be wearing a "vent here" sign.Some say it is because I am compassionate and a good listener.But I must also admit I wasn't wearing enough armor to deflectsome of the anger that has come my way recently. It all startedinnocently enough on Seven Mile Beach. I was about to jump intothe sea when an Aussie expat approached me.
"Was that yoga you were doing there,"the handsome, blue-eyed, young man asked.
"Yes," I said, "it's a greatre-balancer."
"This place sucks," he said kickingthe sand, "can't wait to get off this rock."
I pressed him to find out what it was hehated so much. He insisted he was constantly stabbed in the backand couldn't get in with the local crowd. I asked for detailsbut got none. Though I did get a creative string of expletives.Bon Voyage, blue-eyed boy.
Personally, one of the things that I loveabout Cayman is the people. I fully realize that as a woman myexperience is different than the disgruntled Aussie's. I've metand chatted with everyone from judges to construction workers.
After we get past the preliminary Caribbeanflirtations, often we can just talk person to person. Those seekingotherwise generally move on from me, or are highly encouragedto do so.
A few days back, I met a Balkan man whoasked me to dinner. Once there, he proceeded to rip into me abouthow much he hated America and Americans for what "we"did to his country.
"YOU destroyed my family," heattacked, "YOU have no idea how much trauma you caused me,YOU have no idea how much people hate Americans."
He handed me the wine list. "Ordersomething," he commanded, "let us drink together."
He chain-smoked a few cigarettes, complainedabout the lack of ashtrays and the overall poor service at therestaurant. Finally the drinks arrived, I raised my glass to hisand hoped for a change in conversation.
"I speak truth now," he said,"Americans very, very bad people."
Unbelievable. The guy hates me and wantsto break bread and drink with me. I kept trying to change thesubject but somehow the conversation kept spinning toward blamingthe world's woes on the United States AKA me.
Eventually, the guy's torturing tirade broughtme to tears.
I'll be the first to admit that the U.S.is no innocent. But here was this seemingly intelligent man blaminga stranger for his lot in life. Ironically, he deserted his countryto avoid the draft some 10 years ago. Now he was ladened withguilt and anger and floating around from country to country. Likea man-of-war drifting in the sea, he eventually reached a victimon whom to inflict his pain. I was a convenient whipping post.Lucky me.
As easy it was for those two incidencesto make me run screaming from this place, I paused. I remindedmyself of all the kindness here. A new acquaintance opened hishouse to me with literally no strings attached, when waiting tomake a right hand turn drivers constantly let me in, whilerelaxing at Rum Point, a boat of Caymanians and expats welcomedme aboard as if they'd known me for years.
Yes, there are people in the world who perpetuatehate, violence and anger. It can be difficult to disentangle yourselffrom them, worse yet, it is all too easy to tumble down and jointhem in their world of negativity. Anger is as infectious as thecommon cold. But you can protect yourself.
How do you deflect anger? Opt for peace.In the recipe for world peace we are all ingredients. Take personalresponsibility for it in your own world. Sure, people need tovent from time to time, listen but detach you are not responsiblefor their anger, no matter what they might say to you. Changethe subject or if need be simply walk away.
Give peace a chance, John Lennon sang. Assimple as those words may sound, it is up to each of us to perpetuatecompassion, peace and joy in daily contact with others. If everyonedid that, imagine what a wonderful world it would be.
· JoAnn Milivojevic, was one of thespecial people who helped to bring television to the Cayman Islandsin 1991, when she worked with CiTV as a writer/producer. Originallyfrom Chicago of Serbian stock, she is a well-traveled freelancewriter, presently on assignment with Cayman Net News.