OurTime Has Come
Where the Heartis
By Denise Miller
Denise Miller
Last night I was thinking about this newcolumn I was invited to write by our publisher, and contemplatedwhether or not I should hand in my article on inter-cultural dating.And then as I glanced at my night table I saw a book I love, 'Wherethe Heart Is'.
I smiled, because as I read the title Iknew then exactly what I was going to write about.
Sunday, the 12th of May was Mother's Dayand I had spent time with my family at my grandmother's house.
Everyone was chatting and laughing, thekids were playing, and I, who have a keen interest in photography,was there with my camera, recording every moment of it. Wantingto preserve it all, to freeze the closeness of our family in photos.
Then my younger brother asked me why I wastaking "all of those pictures". I had no problem replyingto him because, "that's where my heart is", with myfamily.
A lot of us younger Caymanians don't realizethat we should spend time with our families. And so we should,because when everyone else bails out on us, whom do we have ifwe've shunned away our families?
I have seen a lot of girls my age rejecttheir families once they have found a boyfriend who seems pleasantenough and has a nice car and job. These girls feel that now itis "legally the time to do whatever they want".
However, some of those very same young men are subjecting theirgirlfriends to domestic abuse. And this is magnified when thesecouples live together; and when she does not any longer have anyclose relationships with her family members.
According to developmental psychology specialist,Jean Piaget, formal operations begin to take place between theages of 11-15 (and can continue through early adulthood). Formaloperations are basically when a child moves from actual experiencesand begins to think in a more abstract, logical thought pattern.
When this happens teens will start to challengepeople, especially their parents, but that does not mean thatthis young person is being disrespectful. It may just be thatthey want to debate and come to their own conclusion about anissue. At this point, these teens won't necessarily say "whatevermy parents say goes."
Unfortunately, in so many cases, parents see this as the childchallenging their authority when they really are not.
And because parent and child are at differentlevels, it causes conflict. The more the parent tries to restrict,the more the child will rebel. And that is what happens with theseyoung women, they rebel.
Therefore both, parents and other familymembers should try to keep the relationships with the childrenin the family intact by allowing these discussions. It is probablethen, that we will not have as many young girls rejecting theirfamilies and getting a boyfriend just to fill the void or as manyyoung men turning to gangs so they can have the "feel"of a family.
Keeping the closeness with your son or daughterhelps them to avoid abusive relationships, gangs, drugs and earlyparenthood. Usually all it takes is maintaining a close bond withthem.
Parents are doing the best they can withwhat they have, and as young people, so should we.
Editor's Note
This is a fresh new column by a young Caymanian - 18 year oldDenise Miller, a student at the Community College and part timephotojournalist with Cayman Net News, who will be contributingher views and those of her peers on current events.