Illegitimacy­ Problems and Pitfalls on a Growing Society

By W. GarfieldPowery, JP

Alexis De Toucquiville thenoted French writer and philosopher once rightly observed, "Ifsociety is tranquil it is not because it is conscious of its strengthand well being, but because it fears its weakness, and infirmitiesand strives to correct them."

The purpose of this articleis to highlight the growing problem of illegitimacy in our societyand to offer some suggestions and solutions, which I trust, willbring a greater measure of sanity to this ever-increasing problem.

To ease the burden of mymind as to the criticism that an article of this nature wouldarouse, I must confess I tremble at the enormity of this task.But in spite of my apprehension in writing this article I am consoledby the fact that God demands for someone to come forward and speakout on this growing problem we face as a nation, particularlywhen it seems that the Church Pulpit and the Christian communityis so silent on this important issue.

For I can recall nothingin our history more worthy of sorrow and pity than the sceneswhich are passing under our very eyes, scenes of sadness whichI will attempt to present later in the course of this article.

But there are two distinctscenes that need to capture our attention, at this stage and thatis the sad picture of children bearing children being totallyincapable of physically and mentally rearing them. Another sadpicture that this problem presents is the obvious public indifferenceto this dilemma, either because we fail to accept it as a nationalproblem or we don't know how to confront it. As a Christian andone of the community leaders of this island who knows well theserious implications this problem presents, I cannot sit backand swim with the tide of public indifference towards this problemfor someone has well said "There are problems in life whichonly the heart acknowledges, but sympathy is what prompts theheart to act."

Before going to the cruxof this article I would crave the indulgence of your readers tosay that it is not my intention to bash or criticise those individualswho have found themselves in this unfortunate situation, but ratherto bring a sense of warning and to enlighten this society of thisevil which I trust would stem the flow of this problem in thefuture.

In the spirit of fairnessand balance, allow me to also say that there are many of thoseindividuals who with the help and support of their parents andfamilies have corrected themselves and have taken note of theirlives and are striving to rear their child in the fear of God,with discipline and integrity. I am sure if those efforts werecontinued, those children would pose no risk and be of no burdento society.

However, in spite of thosefavourable comments I still feel compelled to say that this societydesperately needs to be told of the evil dangers of this problem,that weigh so heavily on a small growing society. For this isnot just an isolated problem that affects only a small segmentof this community, but it is one that touches the very soul ofthis nation.

Indeed it can be said, thatthere is no family of Caymanian origin that has not been touchedwith this problem either directly or indirectly. This bears theclaim of it being a national problem that affects all of our livesin some form or the other. We have tried too long to ignore thisproblem and to make ourselves believe it does not exist.

We are now beginning toreap its consequences.

How can we be benign? Whenwe look around and see young girls 13 and 14 years old with ayoung baby in their arms and casually say to them "Your sisteris beautiful," and with a sense of both pride and distresson her face she replies "no sir she is my daughter."Or when we see young mothers with 5 or 6 young children strugglingdesperately to support them without the love and support of theirfather whom those children may not know, what is our responseas a country? When we hear of the sad tales of young girls beingforced into the ignoble act of prostitution by their own mothers,in order to help support her other siblings which all stems fromthe trickle down effects of the evil of illegitimacy, an evilthat not only breeds shame on a society but also hunger and povertyon innocent children.

The point should be madeabundantly clear that those children have no apologies to maketo anyone because they did not plan their birth or the circumstanceof their life. We should always remember that we cannot violatethe moral principles and standards of God without society reapingadverse effects. For the blessings of God can only come and bemaintained when we choose to fully adhere to his principles.

CONTRIBUTING FACTORS:
Perhaps we should now take stock and ask ourselves, what are thecontributing factors that have caused us to reach this stage inour moral and social development? Let me suggest some of the mainreasons, which I will list in order of importance:
1. The effects of sin and spiritual rebelliousness towards God.
2. Failure of parents to give their children proper moral andspiritual guidance.
3. Failure of the church to take a stronger moral stance on thisissue; and
4. Changing public acceptance on this issue and the removal ofthe stigma it once carried.

The list could go on andon. In highlighting some of these factors I regret that I cannotgive due diligence to some of these areas due to the constraintsof space in the publication of this article.

However, I will touch oneach of them giving the most important greater prominence.

As for the Church allowme to say that in its basic mission of proclaiming the great planof redemption it has been relatively effective. But I believeshe has failed in setting the moral tone on this issue and thatfailure sadly reflects her own spiritual deficiency.

The fault of society inits acceptance of this issue cannot be denied which has resultedin the problem escalating to the serious proportion that it istoday. It should always be understood that young people not onlycrave moral leadership from home but from society as well.

Parental Responsibility
As parents let me now enlist your most serious attention to thesignificance we all share in this problem. It is indeed a taskso important that it goes beyond any obligations that we may haveor will ever have. That is the rearing of our children for good.It is a task that carries so high a price and so costly a stake.

It is the wish of everygood parent to rear successful children, that would not only makethem proud, but society proud as well. But may I say to all parentsfor this noble goal to be achieved it must go beyond our merewishes and it will certainly require our strongest efforts andendeavours.

When we look around andsee the sad faces of so many of our young people, whose livesare in ruin, with the many evils that confront our society, wehave to often wonder what would have been the results, if moreparents had only given more love, time, and effort to their children.Indeed I am convinced that we could have saved many more of them,some with such brilliant minds and glaring potential.

Perhaps at this stage wemay ask at what point do we as parents begin the process of shapingthe minds of our children for good? The answer is, we must beginat an early age to give them strong morals and spiritual guidelinesto follow, which would allow them a safe passage from childhoodinto adult life. Children should be taught at an early age thevalue of good principles such as truth, honesty and the fear ofGod. They should be taught the value of prayer and their needof salvation.

As parents we cannot choosefor our children, but what we can do is to build good memoriesand impressions in their lives that would never be forgotten.On this point I think it is unfortunate that too much emphasisis placed on material things, which really never satisfies. Weshould well remember that in rearing our children in the mosteffective way not only prepares them for a life of tomorrow butmore importantly we are preparing them for all of eternity.

Among the many other concernsthat I would like to address, none disturbs me more than the areaof parental accountability.

There are many parents whoseem to think that when their children reach a certain age theyare no longer responsible for their moral and spiritual guidance.On this point allow me to suggest that as long as we live we havea moral and spiritual obligation to our children; if the premiseholds that our love for our children should never cease. Thenit should also hold that our care and moral support for them shouldnever end. The proper rearing of our children should always begiven our most serious attention.

I take no pleasure in thechiding of fathers of their responsibility to their children,but it should be made abundantly clear, that their financial supportshould be made by them, and not the state.

Parents should feel obligedto know the whereabouts of their children as much as possible,of course allowances are given for circumstances beyond our control.But otherwise no parent should allow their teen-aged childrento be alone with the opposite sex unless it is a close familymember whom they can trust.

Too many young girls/boyshave been caught into the evil trap of moral temptation all becausetheir parents did not exercise enough vigilance on their behalf.

Let us never forget thatit is in those times of unguarded moments that the flame of youthfullust is more susceptible. As parents it is our inherent duty todo everything possible to protect the moral innocence and purityof our children.

Let us forever be awarethat the best gift we can give them is our love and a godly exampleand may we always strive to be consistent in not only what wesay, but, more importantly what we do with our own lives.

Perhaps we should ponderwell the words of the prophet Ezekiel in that scripture warningwhen he wrote, "The father (parents) eats sour grapes andthe children teeth are set on edge." What this scriptureclearly implies is that it is not only we as individuals who sufferthe consequences of our evil deeds but also our children and ourprogenies of future generations.

In these perilous timesit is imperative that we as a nation get back to God and thatwe as parents lead the path of righteousness for our childrento follow, for an evil world beckons for their destruction, buta God of mercy and grace craves and beckons for their success.

CHALLENGE TO YOUNG PEOPLE
In writing this article my time and effort would be useless ifI didn't speak directly to young people, because as a countryyou are so important to us, indeed our future and our most cherishedpossession.

Allow me to say, if we asa country have failed you please forgive us. Forgive us for thosetimes we failed to tell you how much we love you. I would alsolike to express to you how sorry we are for the kind of worldwe have given you to live in. A world that is evil, wicked andcruel and certainly one that offers so many temptations to thelives of young people.

You may ask how then canwe as young people be expected to live successfully in such anevil world? To enlighten you of the realities of life, let mefirst remind you that life offers no promise of an easy path forany of us to follow. To further answer your question I must confessthat the challenge of your generation is much more difficult thanthe one I experienced. But may I say to all of you that the basicchallenge remains the same to every individual and indeed to everygeneration ­ The challenge between right and wrong, good andevil, each of us must decide for his/her own self which of thesepaths we will follow.

In particular young people,you will have to decide to resist the evil eye of temptation tostrive to build character in your lives, to be true to yourselfand your principles, but most of all it is vital for you to betrue to God, and to live by his precepts and direction. May Istrongly exhort you that when your friends choose the wrong pathand go astray, you must always choose the path for good becauseeach of his/her would be held responsible for our own actions,as each of us will be forced to bear its own consequences.

To all of you, let me nowdeal with this most important matter of illegitimacy which hasaffected so many young people in our community. Let me say fromthe start that there would be many different thoughts or piecesof advice given to you on this crucial matter by your friends,peers and perhaps even your parents, but let me remind you, thaton issues such as these you need to hear the truth that wouldeffect your lives for good. Indeed the real answer to this problemis not found in the use of the pill or any other form of contraceptivesthat are so readily available. Nor is it found in the evil actof abortion, but rather it is found in the noble virtues of purity,abstinence and waiting for the right time and circumstance thatis in the holy institution of marriage.

Let me assure all youngpeople that waiting and resisting temptation has its great rewardfor it carries no guilt, no thoughts of comparison and certainlyno mental scars that so often tend to effect marriages but mostof all it will bring God's blessing of happiness and approvalon your lives for ever.

Young people, I would furtherexhort you, that in your quest for a noble and successful life,to choose your friends carefully, Stand tall in the midst of eviland never be afraid to correct yourself. Study hard in schooland strive for excellence in getting a good education, Alwaysbe obedient to your parents for they desire the best for yourlife.

And in this path towardsuccess, it is important for you to always strive to cultivategood principles in your life which would include honesty, truth,a high work ethic and kindness, for society is in desperate needof individuals who would forever choose to be true to those virtuesin every aspect of their lives.

Sadly, I am sure there aremany of you who have been caught in some of these problems thatconfront our society, but let me assure you young people, thatamidst your struggles there is hope for you in the wonderful loveand grace of our Blessed Lord Jesus Christ, the best friend youcould ever have. I would exhort you to surrender your life tohim. In closing my words of challenge to you, be inspired withthe words of the songwriter when he wrote those beautiful lines:

"If there ever weredreams that were lofty and noble, they were my dreams from thestart, And the hopes for life's best, Were the ones that I harboureddeep down in my heart,

And my dreams turn to ashes,my castle all crumbled, My fortune turned to loss, So I wrappedit all up, In the rags of my life, And laid it at the cross.
Chorus

Something beautiful, somethinggood, all my confusions he understood, all I had to offer him,was brokenness and strife, but he did something beautiful of mylife."

PREVENTATIVE MEASURES
Having highlighted some of the contributing factors that bearheavily on this problem, I will now focus my attention to somemeasures I feel that both parents and society can do to help controlthis problem. We have to recognize that this is not just a Caymanianproblem but also one in which every society can bear claim. Havingsaid this, it is unfortunate that we can assume that there willbe sin in the hearts of men, which leaves little hope for thisproblem to be completely eradicated but I believe with a renewedsense of public consciousness and a greater leaning to God, wecan bring a change to this community. The following points area good start in the right direction.

A) Parents must assume strictercontrol of their children by teaching them the moral aspects ofsex education and not the accepted public norm of just preventionof pregnancy.
B) The community must do everything possible to discourage theacceptance of this problem of illegitimacy. They must assume agreater role with preventative measures, as was the traditionin past generations where neighbours, friends, and other adultscontributed their part in the guidance of young children intoadulthood.

If the picture painted withinthis article can serve as a beacon of light and touch the livesof parents or at least one young boy or girl, then I would haveaccomplished my objective in that my efforts were not in vain.I will also trust that the readers of this article would be askind to me in their acceptance of it, as I were in my obedienceto God.

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