People often stop and ask me how I come up with topics upon which to write. I really can't answer that question except to say I try to stay on top of current news and then the column pretty much writes itself upon some issue, which seems to be of general interest.

With the Major Windbag absent till September (that's really thrown me!), this week's topic was spurred on by recent newspaper headlines called "Economic Crime" and various suggestions to curtail it.

The subject matter that was discussed at great length does not interest me in particular, as I neither think like a criminal nor do I manage anyone's multi-billion portfolio, but it does concern me because I don't like living in a lawless, thieving environment.

Here's what really bothers me though. Would the person who stole my garbage can last week like to come back? You forgot the lid and it's of no use to me. I'll leave it roadside, same place you found the bin... you rotten stinking low life crook.

Gone are the days of proclaiming we're these sleepy little islands that time forgot; where the people are so super duper friendly and the place is as safe as sandwiches at an anorexic's party.

We really don't need tea leaves to tell us that this Island's going to hell in a basket if crime continues at this rate. There's a West Indian proverb "a we run t'ings, t'ings noh run we".

I'd like to think that still holds true today but, give it up Cayman, those days are drawing to a close. It won't be long before all windows and doors are fully grilled with wrought iron bars giving the Island a zoo-like appearance.

The crookery and thievery that is sweeping Beloved Isle Cayman is a relatively new thing but it will be the ruination of this country, mark my word.

The Island is rife with no-good thieving scoundrels who know that the prisons are chock-a-block full and equally secure in the fact that friends and family won't turn them in. Things are not likely to change unless we evolve into a society that proclaims we're mad as hell and we're NOT going to FAKE IT any more.

Kernohan and Company are sick of preaching to the public that they need help in identifying and solving crimes. Time for some serious whistle blowing.

In a gallant attempt to digest last week's "Economic Crime" headlines, all the hoop-la seems to be centred around fraud, insurance fraud, insolvency fraud, money laundering, and embezzlement ... t'iefing stuff, like my garbage bin, counts for nothing.

According to recent newspaper articles, about one-third of all local businesses were victims of at least one economic crime last year. Wake up Cayman. Economic Crime be damned, a thief is a thief is a thief. Good press be damned as well, we'd better warn visitors not to go gadding about Grand Cayman any more because targeting tourists will undoubtedly be the next  item on these criminals  'to do' list.

Only a couple of weeks ago some visiting Europeans were the victims of an attempted mugging in broad, bare-faced daylight no less. This hasn't been the first time mind you.

To be what is known as "serious" for a moment (something I don't really like being), it seems that corruption or theft (whichever word makes you feel more comfy), infects all classes, all ages, from the lowest sections of our society to what is often stupidly called the upper-classes.

To me, the level of theft, and by that I mean the value or amount of what is stolen, is simply just the difference between an amateur vs. a professional.

The person who steals a gazillion dollars through some ingenious racket or masterminds a money laundering scheme, is no more of a thief than the persons who decided they wanted my rubbish bin.

I am reminded of a story once told by my mentor the late Morris Cargill - it took some finding but it was well worth the search as it totally delivers my point today.

The story goes thus: A gentleman at a dinner party who in the course of a conversation with a very well-bred lady said to her: "Would you go to bed with a strange man for a million dollars?" "I think so, possibly, if my need was great enough," she replied.

"Would you go to bed with a man for fifty cents?" the gentleman then asked.

"Good heavens, Sir," the lady replied indignantly.  "What do you think I am?"

To which the gentleman replied: "Madam we already know what you are. I was merely trying to establish your price."

Till next week!