The RCIPS Family Support Unit (FSU) is issuing the following advice as part of a continuing drive to raise awareness of various issues that affect families and communities in the Cayman Islands.


What is child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse is sexual activity with a child by an adult, an adolescent or another child. When an adult engages in sexual activity with a child, it is a crime. When sexual activity involves another child or an adolescent, it is not always so clear. Some kinds of sexual behaviour among children might be natural explorations rather than abuse.


Why do I need to know about sexual abuse?

Children should not have to prevent sexual abuse; as adults, this is our job. We can do much more to protect children than just teach them to tell us when someone has acted inappropriately. It is our responsibility to learn, to notice, and to say something when we see behaviours towards children and teens that make them vulnerable or is sexually inappropriate. Many calls to the police or other agencies begin with someone saying: “I may be over-reacting but…” and then describe a situation of possible sexual abuse.


Who sexually abuses children?

Most often, abusers are likely to be people we know, and frequently people we care about. It would be easy to protect our children if everyone who posed a risk looked like a criminal. In most cases of child sexual abuse, the child knows the person who commits the abuse. It’s hard to face the fact that someone we know - and even love - might be sexually abusing a child.


Are men the only ones who will sexually abuse a child?

Those who sexually abuse children - the ones we know about and the ones we don’t - can be anyone in our lives. They can be fathers, mothers, stepparents, grandparents, other family members (uncles, aunts, cousins) and acquaintances. They can be neighbours, babysitters, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, or anyone else who has contact with children. There are more cases of sexual abuse reported into the legal system which involve men, but there can also be cases of women sexually abusing children.


How can we keep our children safe from sexual abuse?

We need to teach children about safety. Adults also need to educate themselves about sexual abuse, the warning signs of sexually abusing behaviours and the risk factors that create situations which make children vulnerable. Then we need to act. Here are some things that you and your family can do to prevent the sexual abuse of a child:

• Set and respect family boundaries.
• Speak up when you see behaviours that violate a child’s personal boundaries or make children vulnerable.
• Watch for signs of sexually inappropriate behaviour in adults, between adults and children, and in children.
• In your own life, demonstrate to your children that it is OK to say “no” when someone you know and care about does something you do not like.
• Teach children the difference between an OK touch and touch that is not OK.
• Teach children that secrets about touching are NOT OK.
• List for yourself whom to call for advice, information, and help.
• Report anything you know or suspect to be sexual abuse.
• Watch for changes in the child’s behaviour.

For more information on any of the above information and for further advice, please call the Family Support Unit at 946-9185 or the Cayman Islands Crisis Centre at 949-2422.


What should I do if a child has been sexually abused?

One of the most important things an adult can do is respond in a calm and matter-of-fact manner. Listen to the words and feelings of the child and observe his or her body language. Believe the child - children rarely lie about sexual abuse.

If you don’t have enough information about what is going on, it is a good idea to ask questions and let the child know you are someone they can safely talk to about this issue. Be sure you do not ask leading questions.

What is most important for you as someone who cares about the child is to say that no matter what happened or what they say, you will still love them. Also, take the time to reassure the child that he or she has done nothing wrong.

Let the child know that you will do whatever you can to keep him or her safe. Many people are tempted to handle the disclosure on their own. However, there are resources throughout the Cayman Islands that can help a family through this difficult situation. Furthermore, sexual abuse is illegal so it is important to seek professional help. By taking action you may reduce the risk of others in your community or family from being sexually abused.

Anyone wanting more information on any of the above information should contact the Family Support Unit at 946-9185 or the Cayman Islands Crisis Centre at 949-2422.