By Sarah Kirby, M.S.W., RSW, RMHC
EAP Counsellor
Over 2,000 organizations in approximately 156 countries will soon be observing and participating in 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence. 2009 marks the 13th anniversary of the campaign in Cayman, which was chosen as a special project by the Business and Professional Women’s (BPW) Club in 1996.
What is 16 Days of Activism?
16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence is an international campaign that emerged from the Center for Women’s Global Leadership in 1991 and promotes awareness and action at local, national, regional, and international levels. This 16-day period begins on the 25th of November, International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, and ends on the 10th of December, International Human Rights Day. The dates were specifically chosen in order to illustrate their connection; that violence against women is a human rights violation.
The campaign also highlights other significant dates including 29 November, International Women Human Rights Defenders Day; 1 December, World AIDS Day; and 6 December, which marks the Anniversary of the Montreal Massacre.
What is gender violence?
‘Gender Violence’ is not a term most of us use in everyday conversation, even when we’re talking about those things which the term includes. Although there are several varied definitions of gender violence, one that is particularly inclusive is the following quote utilized by a 2004 Save the Children Field Guide:
Gender-based violence refers to any harm that is perpetrated against a person’s will; that has a negative impact on the physical or psychological health, development, and identity of the person; and that is the result of gendered power inequities that exploit distinctions between males and females, among males and among females. Although not exclusive to women and girls, GBV principally affects them across all cultures. Violence may be physical, sexual, psychological, economic, or sociocultural (Ward, J., 2002).
Gender violence knows no boundaries, and is therefore not limited to women, girls, men, boys, a particular age or generation, religion, culture, occupation, ability, or socio-economic background.
What have this to do with me?
Every year, the Center for Women’s Global Leadership (CWGL) consults with women’s human rights advocates from all over the world in order to compose a theme for the campaign. Over the years, themes have included: Democracy without Women’s Human Rights . . . is not Democracy (1993); Racism and Sexism: No More Violence (2001); and Cayman’s 2008 theme, Gender Abuse: Zero Tolerance from Childhood to Adulthood. The theme identified by CWGL for this year’s 16 Days is Commit - Act - Demand: We CAN End Violence Against Women!
The idea behind the 2009 theme is that we all have a responsibility to end gender based violence together; that every action, no matter the size, can make a difference-the anti-violence against women movement provides one of the best examples of how local activism can transform into global action; and that we are all accountable for taking part in reducing violence, not only at the individual level, but also at community, national, and global levels.
What can I do?
Activism starts with you, the individual, and your choice to model healthy relationships, not just for your children, but for everyone in your life. In order to do this, we need to learn to respect ourselves and others by acknowledging the basic personal rights we all share by virtue of being human. These rights are something we may never have been taught, but they are something we all have in common.
The following list can be a useful tool as it can help to validate one’s own needs, opinions and boundaries and can thus help a person to stand up for and respect his or herself without violating the rights of others:
Personal Bill of Rights
- I have the right to ask for what I want.
- I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
- I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
- I have the right to change my mind.
- I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
- I have the right to follow my own standards.
- I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
- I have the right to determine my own priorities.
- I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behaviour, actions, feelings, or problems.
- I have the right to expect honesty from others.
- I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
- I have the right to be uniquely myself.
- I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m scared.”
- I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
- I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behaviour.
- I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
- I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
- I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
- I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
- I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
- I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
- I have the right to change and grow.
- I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
- I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
- I have the right to be happy (Bourne, E.J., 2005).
Make this bill of rights yours; write it down, read it out loud, and believe it. Learn to accept that you, and all other individuals, are entitled to each of these rights. Take on the responsibility of exercising your rights when you feel they are being threatened of infringed upon, but remember to do so in an assertive manner in order to respect the rights of others.
In a recent EAP article, the idea of trust being an integral element of all of our relationships was discussed. Part of building trust, and, in turn, a healthy relationship, involves being respectful of one’s self and those around us. If we make the choice to build and maintain healthy relationships, others will learn by example. In promoting healthy interaction, we are also making the choice to become involved and to play our part in ending gender-based violence.
For more information on the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence campaign and related local events and activities, please see upcoming local papers for a calendar of events or contact the Business & Professional Women’s (BPW) Club at bpwgrandcayman@gmail.com
For more information about building and maintaining healthy relationships, or to schedule a confidential appointment, phone 949-9559 or go to www.eap.ky |
